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May 07 老外再问你以下问题……就让他一次囧个够(转） Q: Do Chinese eat dogs?
A: Yes.We eat a lot of dogs. And cats,too. Especially on your "Thanks giving" day. Besides, turkeys are our favorite pets. We regard turkeys as human's best friends. In China only the most uneducated eat turkeys. Q: China is becoming strong. Does your government want to take over the world? A: Yes, absolutely. As soon as we become powerful, we will invade Iraq and Afghanistan. Q: Why doesn't your government give Tibet back to its monks? A: Because the monks want to help the Seminoles take back Florida. 注：Seminoles (印第安人的)塞米诺尔族 Q: Are the products made in China very cheap? A: Yes. Were we using black slaves, the price would be even cheaper. Q: You have 1.4 billion people. Now what do you want to do with it? A: Find a new planet. Kill the native people there, and move in. Q: Why you are the only kids in your family? A: Because our parents don't fuck around. March 25 师太，方丈，道长一、普通版： 二、进化版： 第2天，有人来投稿，全文只有十个字： 第3天，修改稿： 第4天，第三稿： 第5天，终结稿： 编辑兴奋ing，语：前无古人，后无来者之完美杰作。既有难以理清的多年门派恩怨，大有血雨腥风呼之欲来之势；又有纠葛的侠骨柔情， 师太,你就从了老衲吧 版本1 三角恋： 贼道!尔敢和老衲抢师太. 版本2 断臂山： 贼尼,你敢和道爷抢方丈! 版本3 有外遇的断背山： 秃驴,你敢和贫尼抢道爷! 版本4 忠贞不渝的断臂山： 死贼尼.莫要破坏老衲和道爷的关系! 版本5 同门日久生情： 师兄,你就从了老衲吧 版本6 众神皆法： 贼尼!竟敢跟道爷抢神父!! 版本7 情节连贯： 师太,你就从了老衲吧……师太,你就饶了老衲吧～～ 版本8 宗教3P版： 师太，你就从了贫道跟方丈吧 版本9 佛门SM版： 师太，原来你惯用长鞭的，方丈有你照顾，贫道就可以放心离开了...泣
威力加强版： 是夜,无风,晴. 大内 樱花如雨. 三人在战. "无量天尊,秃驴尔竟敢和我抢师太,今日道爷就要给你一个惨绝人寰的死呀." "哥,不要闹了.你已经入宫这么多年了,我们已经不可能了呀."美艳尼姑拉住方丈的手"现在我心里只有他." "女儿,你且退下,今日老衲就要将此贼道轰下以报当年夺妻之恨"
终极版： 夜，很深。 皇宫的寝宫深处，两男一女，三个人影上窜下跳，接着同时跳入一片空地当中。一男子手拿拂尘，瞪眼骂道：“秃驴！你好大的胆子！竟敢跟贫道抢师太！” 女子急急叫道：“哥！你净身入宫多年，我们根本不能做夫妻，你何必苦苦相逼呢！”说着，紧紧拉住身边的男子：“我只爱他！心里也只有他！” 那男子轻轻挣开女子的手，上前一步，低声说道：“女儿！退后！看老衲今天杀了这臭道士！以报多年前的夺妻之恨！” 只见至爱的两人,以死相拼,女子无奈长叹一声:"你二人别争了,9年前我已有了爷爷的骨肉!现任小皇帝是也.我的身体只属于他,你们走吧..." 此时,一座石狮背后,闪出一衣着华美的少年,叹道:"太后,朕实乃断袖之人,已与和尚爷爷有了龙阳之好..."说罢,眼角瞟了眼道士,便低下头去. 手拿拂尘男子听后,呆立半晌,黯然道:好,好,好,果然天道循环,因果不爽,当年我夺你妻,如今你抢我心头之肉,枉我挥刀变性,乔为内官,受那自宫之苦 大和尚却仿佛没听见道士的话,而是沉吟着问女子:女儿,你说陛下是九年前与父亲所出?他如今是死是活? “哈哈哈哈”随着震耳的笑声，一个衣着破烂的喇嘛从天而降，“秃驴，夺妻之仇未报，老朽怎舍得就此西去？！！！” March 24 名著笑话孙悟空申评职称的报告 www.6park.com 天界职称评委会： 后来如来佛使我明白了“天外有天，人外有人”的道理，我被判执行有期徒刑５００年。在这５００年里，我面壁思过，痛悔自己的错误行为，并决心以实际行动来洗刷自己的过去。 www.6park.com 大唐玄奘法师不因我有“前科”而歧视我，收容了我这个失足青年，给了我第二次生命，并任命我为他西天取经的首席大弟子，使我得以和他出访多国，考察访 问。在取经路上，我以一个“大弟子”的标准严格要求自己，尊师敬弟，尤擅帮助后进，如好色贪吃的猪八戒同志。冲锋在前，享受在后，任劳任怨，无私无畏，经 过九九八十一难后，终于协助师父取回真经，并被委任为“斗战胜佛”。先后发表了《绝对隐私――唐僧背后的女人》、《我和白骨精――不得不说的故事》、《看 上去很美――我眼中的猪八戒》等学术论文，本人多次入讯天界名人录》等选集，并被聘为天宫大学副教授。 www.6park.com 这次天界第Ｎ次职称评定工作已全面开始，我这个多年的“副职”也该转正了吧?特此提出申请，妥否？请组织评审。 www.6park.com 斗战胜佛：孙悟空 www.6park.com 天历年×月×日 想象力丰富的三国笑话 www.6park.com 壹·尴尬的谋略篇
姜维：“老师，我回来了！今天买了三文钱一车的芹菜和四文钱五斗的大米……啊？房间里为什么点着七盏灯？现在灯油很贵 的，军队上的粮油补贴也不包括煤 油在内~~……什么！？要点三天三夜！还不准熄灭？你不过日子啦！？哇~你看中间那盏还那么大~~赶紧熄掉。好了，你看，一盏灯已经很亮了 ~~：）哦对了，你刚才想对我说什么，老师？” 巨星殒落…… January 25 Talk About Getting BURNED !!A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a law suit against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued.... and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. www.6park.com Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires." www.6park.com NOW FOR THE BEST PART: www.6park.com After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and he was sentenced to 24 months in jail and ordered to pay a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest. December 08 WOW这是清华BBS上一则笑话，大家记得往下接哦！
------------------------------------------------------------ 1.一女生写道：一日黄昏漫步，见一男生装酷，呕吐，呕吐，只想低头撞树。 2. 一男生跟贴：一日自习深处，见一女生撞树， 呕吐，呕吐，恐龙也敢摆酷。 3. 清华一学生跟贴：今日黄昏奇遇，见有两人呕吐。装酷，装酷，一不留神撞树。 4.第四人跟贴：一日闲庭信步，忽见三人呕吐， 何故，何故？只为都在水木。 5.第五人跟贴：无事闲逛水木，惊闻四人撞树， 愤怒，愤怒，罚你四人植树。 6.第六人跟贴：那日四人植树。还有一人监督，残酷，残酷，惨状不堪入目！ 7.一北大学生写下观后感：闲来网上信步，忽闻有人呕吐。捧腹，捧腹，水木学子撞树！撞树还要植树，破坏惩罚往复，糊涂，糊涂，何不北大修路？ 8.前日转贴此处，竟然没人跟住，感触，感触，请您稍稍留步。 9.留步环顾四处，大家都在呕吐，吃醋，吃醋，我怎么就不吐？ 10.一不小心留步，发现流行撞树:...搬走！搬走！楼前那棵大树 11.小海兄弟想吐，却又不知何故，愤怒，愤怒，怎么如此对待孕妇！ 12.我刚来这几天，看到此情此景，吓住！吓住！孕妇不要再吐！ 13.人家孕妇要吐，你们不要打住，继续，继续，最好扶着旁边小树！！！ 14.既然大家都吐，想是潮流缘故，跟住，跟住，绝对不能落伍！～～ 15.中午喝的路易十六，想吐我也不吐，忍住，忍住，最好还是咽下肚！！！ 16.众人只知呕吐，不知爱护草木，可恶，可恶，全部拉去修路！ 17.若是潮流缘故，为何一直都吐，照顾，照顾，吐的全是孕妇~~~ 18.孕妇都来呕吐，而且都要扶树，植树，植树，保证人手一棵小树 19.大师无意撞树，众人皆然顿悟，引得回贴无数，关注，关注，成功行为艺术。 20.未见主题发布~只知引人关注~~究竟好在何处？~~~感悟感悟~~~还是去打呼噜 21.标志CI吉祥物，思来虑去心打鼓，苦楚，苦楚，重回大学恶补。 22.大家都在呕吐，如今流行孕妇，ooo快吐^^快吐ooo,吐完还去撞树 23.若到医院常住，还有帅G照顾，不吐，不吐，这里就俺最酷~ 24.大家尽情呕吐，偶还是赶紧跑路，站住？站住？偶没有犯那错误！ 25.已经如此地步~~这贴还在回复~~~尽管空虚嫉妒~~~~咕噜咕噜~~俺先去填肚肚 人家都在呕吐，你偏要去填肚，打住，打住，哪壶不开提那壶 26.壶中自有颜如玉，壶中自有黄金屋。休管，休管，管他快活与受苦 27.社会主义的好处,如今遍地孕妇,呕吐,呕吐~~~记得多买点白醋~~ 28.我欲大口呕吐，又恐碰见孕妇，于是选择撞树！~！ 29.今日论坛散步，忽见呕吐无数！欲问原因何故，也罢，也罢，孕妇撞树加呕吐！ 30.今日论坛游步，惊现群人呕吐，晕呼？晕呼！得知All是孕妇！！~~~~~ 31.偶发笑话一部,引来孕妇无数!孕妇!怨夫!说他还要撞树! 32.众人都在呕吐！我却要来高呼！高呼！高呼！我想灵异版主！ 33.正觉腹中无物，误入开心深处，惊见众人呕吐，咕噜，咕噜，管TM吐的何物，通通下肚 34.一堆人正在狂吐！又来了一个废物！顶住！顶住！好歹也当回梁柱！ 35.革命尚未成功，同志还需呕吐，偶吐，偶吐，吐出一滩鸥鹭 36.今日到此漫步，忽见趣贴无数，何故？何故？大家在装孕妇！ (From 6park) November 26 Enjoy A Little MathHere is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. (It also made me Laugh Out Loud.) Remember, this is a strictly mathematical viewpoint. It goes like this: www.6park.com
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100 % in life? www.6park.com Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: www.6park.com
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z www.6park.com is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. www.6park.com Then: www.6park.com
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% www.6park.com and www.6park.com But , www.6park.com
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% www.6park.com And, www.6park.com
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% www.6park.com AND, look how far asskissing will take you. www.6park.com
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Asskissing that will put you over the top. (From 6park) November 25 Inf loop老总打电话给秘书:这几天我陪你去北京玩玩,你准备一下
秘书打电话给老公:这几天我要和老总去北京开会 老公打电话给情人:这几天我老婆不在家,陪我 情人打电话给辅导学生:这几天老师有事,停课 学生打电话给爷爷:这几天不上课,爷爷你陪我玩 爷爷给秘书打电话:北京去不了了,孙子要我陪 秘书给老公打电话:老总突然有事不去北京开会了 老公给情人打电话:老婆不走了,下次再说 情人给辅导学生打电话:这几天照常上课!!! 学生给爷爷打电话:555老师说这几天照常上课 爷爷给秘书打电话:还是去北京吧,你准备准备 。 。 。 (From 6Park) |
wanna laugh? here is the place@^$)&)_^&$^%#%!$@^&$#*&$%
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